Hello, its me. It's been a long time. For a while I was lost from creativity and couldn't conjure up anything more than an array of muddled up words. But more than that, sometimes I'm afraid to begin writing because sentences don't quite appear on paper like they do in my head. Often I'm afraid to try, because what if I try and it's still not good enough? I believe there's a lot of sparks in the world. A lot of sparks that could of turned into great ideas, and great ideas into great things. But so many of those sparks are never ignited because we're too afraid to try.
This year I'm in my third year of Fashion Design. The degree itself is actually somewhat excruciating yet fulfilling at the same time. It's something that I'm unable to really explain or describe, but in my world you're constantly coming up with ideas and you're also constantly being shot down by them. What if I design something and its actually complete rubbish?
So I'm learning from zero again, and while I've barely scratched the surface to any point of succeeding. I'm once again learning to be creative, free from the fear of being less than expectations (my own and others included), of being less than perfect and of the opinions of what other people think. Like this blog post. Who even reads this stuff? But why does it matter anyway? Because I'm beginning again. Beginning to write. Beginning to photograph. Beginning to create. Beginning to allow my sparks turn into ideas, and giving these ideas the permission to turn into whatever they are capable of.
Recently I've been reading a book called Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert (The author of Eat Pray Love). If you're a creative, then its a must to read. She talks about creative living beyond fear and freeing yourself from this desperation of constantly having to be 'perfect' and to be at the 'top'.
Because "Such thinking assumes there is a 'top' - and that reaching the top and staying there is the only motive one has to create. Such thinking assumes that mysteries of inspiration operate on the same scale that we do - on a limited human scale of success and failure, of winning and losing, of comparison and competition, of commerce and reputation, of units sold and influence wielded. Such thinking assumes you must be constantly victorious not only against your peers, but also against an earlier version of your own poor self. Most dangerously of all, such thinking assumes that if you can not win, then you must not continue to play. But what does that have to do with vocation? What does any of that have to do with the pursuit of love? What does any of that have to do with the strange communion between the human and the magical? What does any of that have to do with faith? What does any of that have to do with the quiet glory of merely making things, and then sharing those things with an open heart and no expectation?"